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- YoWorld Forums > General Discussions > Don't know what's wrong with me...

Stacey
YoAficionado

Status:
Registered: Dec 18, 2014
Posts: 3042

Sun Dec 15, 2019 12:48 am

For the past couple of days I find myself crying for no reason at all and I can't seem to stop the stupid tears. I'm not sure what's wrong with me or why I am crying a lot. I even find myself arguing with my family over stupid petty stuff. I thought of talking to my doctor about it but I'm not sure if there is actually something wrong with me or if it's just this time of year. Do any of you go through this yourselves? I normally love the holidays but this year I didn't put up a tree... I found no comfort in it... but I did decorate outside... and I finished shopping for my family here... even though I feel like I didn't do enough. I even went to the store and bought myself my own gifts like I always do every year because I know I won't get anything... I put them aside and am debating on wrapping them or not (even though I know what they are). I'm seriously thinking about not celebrating the Christmas season anymore... and just doing something completely different from now on... like leaving for the Holidays away from my family or whatever... I don't know... I bought my cats some cat toys for Christmas though and I will give them their special toys on that day and watch movies all day long. I guess it's just the Humbug getting to me? Anyways... I hope you all are having a better time during this season. Happy Holidays to all my friends I have made on here! :rose:

Tansy Anne
YoFollower

Status:
Registered: Aug 23, 2018
Posts: 1032

Sun Dec 15, 2019 1:26 am

Maybe it's clinical depression.

Mizz Libra
YoManiac

Status:
Registered: Nov 21, 2009
Posts: 43814

Sun Dec 15, 2019 3:54 am

Do you live in an area in which it is rather cold and not very sunny at this time of the year?
If yes it could be a vitamin d deficiency.
Most of our vitamin d we get through sunshine on our skin. With little sunshine during the cold months
many people develop a so-called winter depression.
Due to my hashimoto's disease I am more likely to develop a vitamin d deficiency than someone without hashimoto's disease (even when it may not be as cold, and because a third of all my work shifts are night shifts, alias no sunshine even in summer),
and therefore my doctors check my vitamin d levels on a regular basis. They just told me again recently that my levels were low, and I'd
have to take vitamin d supplements until summer again.
Either way, I hope you'll get to feel better again soon.

Denna
YoFiend

Status:
Registered: Feb 25, 2009
Posts: 17474

Sun Dec 15, 2019 9:33 am

Sorry to read you feel like this Stacey, I hope it will be over soon... :rose:

Well,it is difficult for me this time of the year, because my mother, my family and many friends live far away, in the country where I was born.

My daughter and grandchildren are here and I have few good friends, but it is living between two worlds for me... Missing my mother and people there and when I am there, I am missing my chlidren and friends here... And it is that way 25 years now...

When I am sad, I listen the music... I love music and sometimes I cry too... it is good to cry, better then keep it inside yourself... And just say to yourself it will be better soon. :rose:

Dia
YoCrazy

Status:
Registered: Mar 13, 2012
Posts: 24444

Sun Dec 15, 2019 5:40 pm

For Me
I'm always a bit down this Time Of year .
Due to missing people so much. :heartbroken:

My 5th Christmas without my mum , My 13th without dad. ( both angels )
and i lost my wee doggy In August ( had him 10 years)
I do try to make the most of it. but yes always comes some sadness.

Dear Stacey i Hope you get to feeling better soon :hug:

@ And as Denna said ♥ Music does help alot ♥ also a good cry

Cobalt
#1 YoFiend

Status:
Registered: Oct 04, 2009
Posts: 56160

Sun Dec 15, 2019 6:54 pm

There are no easy answers about why people get up or down for any holiday. Emotions are fickle and they usually tell us lies. But we've developed a culture that makes room for the hard emotions, instead of teachin us how to deal with them and work through them regardless of what they try to tell us. It is why shrink couches are more crowded than ever.

Tears are a symptom. Arguing without a cause is also a symptom. Finding the root isn't easy. I don't know who you talk to or trust with your heart, but it is time to find that person and let it all out. You are holding something in and it is leaking all over your face and relationships. Dealing with what bothers us is a 3 part process.

Identify the issue(s)
Make a plan to address them
Work the plan

This is the heavy lifting in life. But if you do the work, you will have much happier days for the rest of your days. If the people you call family are so broken that they won't buy/make you gifts at Christmas, then you need to make a friend outside your family who you can share the holiday with. Even if you guys only exchange something from the dollar store, sharing the holiday with someone who isn't broken is so important.

My Christmas gift for you is a wish that you will find yourself important enough to work on making a new friend for next Christmas. Obviously this holiday matters to you and it is up to you to make it happen. Go get your life!

:rose:

sue twoPLUSH
YoWild

Status:
Registered: Aug 10, 2009
Posts: 13010

Mon Dec 16, 2019 5:02 am

What do you mean, you shopped for your family but you buy your own gifts because you know you won't be getting anything????!!!!
THAT upsets me!!!! I too am struggling with the Christmas holidays this year.....and I dont know why. I will be glad when it;s over. We havent put up a tree... may not happen... I am tired..sleeping alot... trying to deal with my 20yr or grandchild who is on the autism spectrum..... draining....
more things going on that I wish weren't...wishing my life had turned out different. I am already taking "happy meds" for anxiety .....depression too.... might not hurt to talk to someone... Many people arent getting enough sunlight this time of year.... they get something called SAD.....yep... SAD..... people buy special light boxes that they sit buy for a few hours everyday that helps make your body happy. Please don't be so hard on yourself..... Do you have someone you could go visit? You are very brave to let others know you are struggling....many don't and suffer in silence. Start with your Dr...... I am glad you are asking questions...knowing you can feel better..... feel free to send me a pm anytime if you need to talk..... I hope things get brighter and better.... hugs and Merry Christmas anyhow! :hug:

Denna
YoFiend

Status:
Registered: Feb 25, 2009
Posts: 17474

Mon Dec 16, 2019 11:54 am

To everyone who feels a bit "down" these days: Hang on and if needed, come here and write about it like Stacey did... I hope that will make you feel a bit better. If this matters to you, there are people who READ it...

Stacey
YoAficionado

Status:
Registered: Dec 18, 2014
Posts: 3042

Mon Dec 16, 2019 2:06 pm

that's why I wrote about my feelings because it does help to get them out there. My Mother passed away in 2014 but her and I didn't have a great relationship and I regret not being a better daughter to her and sometimes I beat myself up because of it but at the same time there are things my Mother did to me that I never forgave her for or had the chance to talk to her about to get it off my chest and I regret that too. I know my Mother did love me but she had a strange way of showing it. I kept all the things my Mother has gave me over the years around Christmas time and when that time of year comes around I put them out to remember her. The last thing she gave me was a Carousel because she knew I wanted one real bad. It plays music and goes around like a Carosel would. It's really beautiful and fits almost completely on my kitchen table. It also lights up and I love that thing so much, it's something I will never get rid of. I also have this beautiful Angel statue my mother gave me that has the Angel holding a little cat (because my Mother knew I loved cats) and it says a saying on it about how Cats leave pawprints in our hearts. I have that Angel on my Dresser along with some other knick knacks my Mother has given me over the years. Seeing those things reminds me of my Mother and it feels good to have them near me but around this time of the year it hurts too because she isn't here anymore. Anyways, you all are welcome to post on here and chat with one another if it helps you to get those feelings out there. Hope you all have a good day!

Stacey
YoAficionado

Status:
Registered: Dec 18, 2014
Posts: 3042

Mon Dec 16, 2019 2:09 pm

sue twoPLUSH (113201761) wrote:What do you mean, you shopped for your family but you buy your own gifts because you know you won't be getting anything????!!!!
THAT upsets me!!!! I too am struggling with the Christmas holidays this year.....and I dont know why. I will be glad when it;s over. We havent put up a tree... may not happen... I am tired..sleeping alot... trying to deal with my 20yr or grandchild who is on the autism spectrum..... draining....
more things going on that I wish weren't...wishing my life had turned out different. I am already taking "happy meds" for anxiety .....depression too.... might not hurt to talk to someone... Many people arent getting enough sunlight this time of year.... they get something called SAD.....yep... SAD..... people buy special light boxes that they sit buy for a few hours everyday that helps make your body happy. Please don't be so hard on yourself..... Do you have someone you could go visit? You are very brave to let others know you are struggling....many don't and suffer in silence. Start with your Dr...... I am glad you are asking questions...knowing you can feel better..... feel free to send me a pm anytime if you need to talk..... I hope things get brighter and better.... hugs and Merry Christmas anyhow!

The past couple of years anything I want for Christmas I buy for myself. Lately the only thing my family gives me is cards... just a simple Christmas card. But I do save all the cards over the years. I don't want to tell my family that what they are doing kind of hurts because I go out of my way to get them things I know they'll like for Christmas. This year has been hard for me because some family moved farther away but I did mail out their Christmas gifts and they called me to tell me they got their gifts and they like them very much. But in return I got a card. I get promises sometimes of them saying how they'll do this or they'll do that for me but I know it's something that'll never happen... Just empty words. I love my family but I feel like the forgotten one here.

Cobalt
#1 YoFiend

Status:
Registered: Oct 04, 2009
Posts: 56160

Mon Dec 16, 2019 2:50 pm

I'm about fed up with your family and I've never met one of them. LOL

If it were me, I'd go buy 99 cent cards for every single one of them and then I'd send them out with a dollar bill in each one to get their expectations reset. Your love language is obviously "gifts" and they aren't talking to you that way right now. My wife is also "gifts" and I've learned that if I don't randomly pick up $5 in flowers or the occasional candle to say "I'm thinking about you", it hurts her deeply. I have also learned to cook and when I make something just for her, it carries her for days.

IDK who is the "leader" in your family or who you are most close to, but you need to speak directly to them about how it makes you feel when all you ever see is a card. I know you probably don't want to be seen as a whiner, but this is about relationship and has nothing to do with "stuff". You simply want to be seen as important enough to be included in the thoughtful gifting process.

Damn I want to make you some cookies and mail them to you. LOL :hug:

Stacey
YoAficionado

Status:
Registered: Dec 18, 2014
Posts: 3042

Mon Dec 16, 2019 3:06 pm

Dazzler (126579776) wrote:I'm about fed up with your family and I've never met one of them. LOL

If it were me, I'd go buy 99 cent cards for every single one of them and then I'd send them out with a dollar bill in each one to get their expectations reset. Your love language is obviously "gifts" and they aren't talking to you that way right now. My wife is also "gifts" and I've learned that if I don't randomly pick up $5 in flowers or the occasional candle to say "I'm thinking about you", it hurts her deeply. I have also learned to cook and when I make something just for her, it carries her for days.

IDK who is the "leader" in your family or who you are most close to, but you need to speak directly to them about how it makes you feel when all you ever see is a card. I know you probably don't want to be seen as a whiner, but this is about relationship and has nothing to do with "stuff". You simply want to be seen as important enough to be included in the thoughtful gifting process.

Damn I want to make you some cookies and mail them to you. LOL

if would be nice if my family would come over and visit me for a few hours and just play UNO or something. I used to be very close to my family and this time of year was always a big deal with my family. I found comfort lately going to Nursing homes and visiting the old folks with baked goods and home-made gifts and doing crafts with them. So many of those folks don't even have family to visit them and they have kind of adopted me as a part of their family. I like to do crafts with them too and there's this one old woman who is gonna teach me how to knit and crochet because I never learned and always wanted to know how to do it. I think it would be great to knit hats and mittens and scarves and even blankets but I lack that talent. My family has all moved on and changed traditions and that kind of hurts. I know Christmas is not about gifts or getting things but sometimes it feels like that's all they expect. My best friend told me I am welcome to spend the holidays with her family and they actually treat me more like family than my own family does. For the past couple of years I've gone to my best friend's house for Thanksgiving and Christmas and spend time with them. They don't make me feel left out and they even give me small things (things I enjoy like crafting stuff). I guess that saying where you can't chose family is true but family doesn't have to be blood? I've taken the little kids of my best friend's family shopping with me to get their parents something and basically kept them out of their parents hair so their parents can shop without the kids being around... gotta keep the secret of Santa alive with these little ones LOL. I feel like I've become like an Aunt to these kids and they've even started calling me Aunt Stacey. I love my real family but being the black sheep in the family doesn't make anything easier I guess. I miss the days when family would think about family and we'd spend time together. Those days are long gone. I guess that could be part of why the Holidays get me down

Denna
YoFiend

Status:
Registered: Feb 25, 2009
Posts: 17474

Mon Dec 16, 2019 6:26 pm

Dazzler (126579776) wrote:I'm about fed up with your family and I've never met one of them. LOL

If it were me, I'd go buy 99 cent cards for every single one of them and then I'd send them out with a dollar bill in each one to get their expectations reset. Your love language is obviously "gifts" and they aren't talking to you that way right now. My wife is also "gifts" and I've learned that if I don't randomly pick up $5 in flowers or the occasional candle to say "I'm thinking about you", it hurts her deeply. I have also learned to cook and when I make something just for her, it carries her for days.

IDK who is the "leader" in your family or who you are most close to, but you need to speak directly to them about how it makes you feel when all you ever see is a card. I know you probably don't want to be seen as a whiner, but this is about relationship and has nothing to do with "stuff". You simply want to be seen as important enough to be included in the thoughtful gifting process.

Damn I want to make you some cookies and mail them to you. LOL

I would do the same! Because I am just like that and would do it if I feel left out... In the country where I am born, we have saying: Do something right 100 times and you are good to someone... Do something wrong 1 time and you always was bad person... LOL Well, I would get their attention for sure. :smug:

BaeBoo
YoAficionado

Status:
Registered: Jun 28, 2016
Posts: 3720

Fri Dec 20, 2019 10:16 pm

I am so sorry to hear that

Maybe you're tired from work or maybe you're bored doing the same activity everyday

I hope you will get better soon :hug: