Talking to people about why they aren't happy is not a lot of fun. They will hem and haw and deflect into topics about money or career or depression or whatever they choose to deflect attention away from the root of it. Because at the end of every story, after all the obstacles are stripped away and the "why?" of it is exposed, it comes down to one of two (or both) things every single time -

1. They cannot love themselves
2. They will not allow themselves to love anyone

Both of these create extreme isolation, resentment, frustration, loneliness, sadness, and anger. Because by doing either of these (or both), they become impossible for anyone else to love. They in essence become self fulfilling prophecies.

I'm not saying people don't have very good reasons for loathing themselves or others. The wounds inflicted over a lifetime can result in scar tissue a mile deep. From their childhood on, they have spent their love and often have been abused for doing so. And these wounds have resulted in their fears of ever risking love again. And I have seen it all too many times in counselling suicidal people.

So I want to say some things today as a complete and utter stranger. I want to put some thoughts into some heads that help many people with loving themselves and ultimately others. Because you will NEVER be happy unless you can first love yourself, and then give yourself to loving others. I don't care what anyone told you in the past, I don't care what you've convinced yourself of at any point in your life - YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE. I didn't say you HAVE to give it. I didn't say you have to EXCHANGE it. I said there is some part of you that is only you and you alone, and it is valuable. It is precious. It is important. You may have buried it under a mountain of lies and pain. You may have pushed it aside so that you can avoid being abused for it. You may even truly think you don't have "it". But those are lies being used as excuses by you consciously or subconsciously.

Part of our purpose in life is to explore what our "something" is. Maybe it is your sense of humor? Maybe it is your creativity? Maybe it your skill at empathy? Maybe it is your intelligence? Maybe it is your problem solving skill? Maybe you are a great peacemaker? Maybe you know how hug people's fears away? You see people all the time who have found their "something", and often times it makes you feel even more hollow. But whatever yours is, it is every bit as valuable as anyone else's.

So now what? Well GO FIND OUT WHAT YOUR SOMETHING is! Duh. LOL You can't start the trip to feeling better about life until you've figured out what value you add to this broken planet. And you certainly can't magically love yourself, if you haven't figured out what there is to love about yourself. But it will take effort, patience, and thought - as you continue to fight through feelings that are lying to you.

And then once you have really figured out how to love yourself, then you can really step into loving others. Because it doesn't matter how others respond, as long as you love yourself. You can do it. I've seen the worst people at suicide's door turn it all around. Their world was so bleak, that they started the journey as the scars healed on their wrists. But they gave it all they had, and fought through it all to find a way to love themselves, and then others. They didn't BECOME happy magically. They worked for it. They EARNED it. And anyone can. Please. Fight for you.

Why are you so dang smart? I bet your mom & dad are proud of you

The tears are rolling....this hit hard BUT it is SO true..every damn word of it...I'm not going to type my life story but I DO LOVE ME (now) took me years...I love my 2 children and my grandson. My heart is now in 4 pieces full of love and that's all. But the good thing is Rod..I'm ok with it..I like being me and I do have things to give to others hence why I volunteer alot. It makes me happy too..I have always asked myself..do I want this or do I need this ..big difference there?..My kids and I have a plan next summer we are going to get our Semi Colon tattoos because "OUR STORY IS NOT OVER"..I thank you so much for these words you typed...I read a book once and the main comment thru that book he always said was "PLEASE BELIEVE". (Don't laugh) it was Tommy Lee's book TommyLand..I adore that man with all my being. His words have helped me so much. And I do have a special buddy in my life who if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be typing this today..I have 3 reasons why I breath and this and always will be My daughter and son and grandson

Sharon (11135269) wrote:The tears are rolling....this hit hard BUT it is SO true..every damn word of it...I'm not going to type my life story but I DO LOVE ME (now) took me years...I love my 2 children and my grandson. My heart is now in 4 pieces full of love and that's all. But the good thing is Rod..I'm ok with it..I like being me and I do have things to give to others hence why I volunteer alot. It makes me happy too..I have always asked myself..do I want this or do I need this ..big difference there?..My kids and I have a plan next summer we are going to get our Semi Colon tattoos because "OUR STORY IS NOT OVER"..I thank you so much for these words you typed...I read a book once and the main comment thru that book he always said was "PLEASE BELIEVE". (Don't laugh) it was Tommy Lee's book TommyLand..I adore that man with all my being. His words have helped me so much. And I do have a special buddy in my life who if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be typing this today..I have 3 reasons why I breath and this and always will be My daughter and son and grandson

The life you have fought for is precious. It is yours. You've done the work. You've earned the right to cry all the tears you want. Staring up from that pit is daunting. But you did it, and now it is nothing but a dark hole in your past. You have made yourself as whole as you can be. Your story carries power, now and for your future. Never be ashamed of weakness, because it makes us stronger to face it and fight it.

Enjoy what you've earned. Cherish those treasures. And most of all, love them as deeply as you can as they also choose to love you - because you know the true you.

Allergic2BS (135815676) wrote:Why are you so dang smart? I bet your mom & dad are proud of you

They don't complain...too much. They gave us all they had, so it had to be enough.

Beautiful words Rod!

sNaPCaCkLeNPooP (12927062) wrote:Beautiful words Rod!