Nope. I learned a long time ago that anyone that I care about, is always worthy of the truth as I see it. I don't get into anyone's business or offer unsolicited opinions, but if asked they will only get my honest opinion. And that includes my bride. Don't ask me if this dress makes me look fat. If you look like a water balloon in a rubber band, you can be damn sure you'll hear it from me first. I won't allow you to embarrass yourself just to save you from being upset with me. Be upset if you want, but you'll know you got the truth.

Gooballs (126579776) wrote:Nope. I learned a long time ago that anyone that I care about, is always worthy of the truth as I see it. I don't get into anyone's business or offer unsolicited opinions, but if asked they will only get my honest opinion. And that includes my bride. Don't ask me if this dress makes me look fat. If you look like a water balloon in a rubber band, you can be damn sure you'll hear it from me first. I won't allow you to embarrass yourself just to save you from being upset with me. Be upset if you want, but you'll know you got the truth.

I guess I can see that way too. It's just that I have too much of a heart to say what I been wanting to say. But, I see your validity too. Because sometimes I fathom, we have to just air it out.

I have no problem telling people how it is and what for. What i take issue with, is people refusing to look beyond their own nose and take in anything that isn't part of their agenda, lies and propaganda. A few seem to think that their fantastical and mendacious stories are a universal truth to behold, when its anything but. The Victim complex is a powerful tool for those with nothing to say, or those who refuse to change.


What im trying to work on, is disengaging with such individuals, because they refuse to have an honest, sincere discussion about anything without throwing around ad hominems and various other fallacies. Its a tall order, but its worth it imo.....

I've always been of the mindset that if I don't express it, it's going to stay inside and build up and I'm going to explode one day over something trivial rather than what's really eating away at me. So no, I always speak my mind. Although I have learned to voice it in a more diplomatic way as I've got older unless you've irked me enough and I really don't care how it comes across. Normally when that happens, I'm cold hearted and cut to the bone serious, taking no prisoners with me.

I'm not sure who's making you feel this way, but don't ever be anyone's doormat, for no reason at all. You deserve so much more than that.

You know the whole concept of if the plane is crashing, you put your oxygen mask on first before helping others? Well, that concept works for everything in your life too. You should always be your first concern.

Mir (102794171) wrote:I've always been of the mindset that if I don't express it, it's going to stay inside and build up and I'm going to explode one day over something trivial rather than what's really eating away at me. So no, I always speak my mind. Although I have learned to voice it in a more diplomatic way as I've got older unless you've irked me enough and I really don't care how it comes across. Normally when that happens, I'm cold hearted and cut to the bone serious, taking no prisoners with me.

I'm not sure who's making you feel this way, but don't ever be anyone's doormat, for no reason at all. You deserve so much more than that.

You know the whole concept of if the plane is crashing, you put your oxygen mask on first before helping others? Well, that concept works for everything in your life too. You should always be your first concern.

Great point. There's a wrong way to say "that dress makes you look fat", and a right way to say "it is not as flattering as other dresses you own". Choosing our words to deliver truth is everything. We can't be assholes about it, even if it feels good to deliver it that way. Kindness and compassion with truth are the keys......

Thanks y'all ! I guess next time I will kindly speak up with dignity and grace but tact.

Good luck OP For me the answer is no. I know I've been honest, truthful, and strived to say whatever I've wanted to say in a way that's been constructive. There's been times where I have respectfully declined to be associated in general with individuals only for them to go completely afterwards but I know in my heart that I did the right thing by breaking contact or expiring connections that I knew were wrong to me or others. Their actions after the fact only prove my point. it's just important to follow your heart and ignore evil. Good luck OP, I am sure you will do what is right.

Mir (102794171) wrote:I've always been of the mindset that if I don't express it, it's going to stay inside and build up and I'm going to explode one day over something trivial rather than what's really eating away at me. So no, I always speak my mind. Although I have learned to voice it in a more diplomatic way as I've got older unless you've irked me enough and I really don't care how it comes across. Normally when that happens, I'm cold hearted and cut to the bone serious, taking no prisoners with me.

I'm not sure who's making you feel this way, but don't ever be anyone's doormat, for no reason at all. You deserve so much more than that.

You know the whole concept of if the plane is crashing, you put your oxygen mask on first before helping others? Well, that concept works for everything in your life too. You should always be your first concern.

This is me. One of my favorite sayings is " Don't mistake my kindness for weakness."

CountryDude89 (11877186) wrote:I have no problem telling people how it is and what for. What i take issue with, is people refusing to look beyond their own nose and take in anything that isn't part of their agenda, lies and propaganda. A few seem to think that their fantastical and mendacious stories are a universal truth to behold, when its anything but. The Victim complex is a powerful tool for those with nothing to say, or those who refuse to change.


What im trying to work on, is disengaging with such individuals, because they refuse to have an honest, sincere discussion about anything without throwing around ad hominems and various other fallacies. Its a tall order, but its worth it imo.....

Well said.

sNaPCaCkLeNPooP (12927062) wrote:

Mir (102794171) wrote:I've always been of the mindset that if I don't express it, it's going to stay inside and build up and I'm going to explode one day over something trivial rather than what's really eating away at me. So no, I always speak my mind. Although I have learned to voice it in a more diplomatic way as I've got older unless you've irked me enough and I really don't care how it comes across. Normally when that happens, I'm cold hearted and cut to the bone serious, taking no prisoners with me.

I'm not sure who's making you feel this way, but don't ever be anyone's doormat, for no reason at all. You deserve so much more than that.

You know the whole concept of if the plane is crashing, you put your oxygen mask on first before helping others? Well, that concept works for everything in your life too. You should always be your first concern.

This is me. One of my favorite sayings is " Don't mistake my kindness for weakness."

I will tell certain people "I am being kind because I choose it". The implication is that the other path is also an option. I'm not afraid to wade into anything, with anyone, or in any way they choose it to happen. They get to pick my "setting", and God have mercy on them if they choose the wrong setting - because I won't.

One time I learned about an old lady who was one of my biggest fans ever. I had to inform her & her buds that I was aware but did not want to reciprocate the solicitation of communication from her or any others working for her. Ultimately it was what I did not want to have to say that set me free, and that was the truth. Those individuals never forgave me for not having any interest in them or their shenanigans but I did the right thing by being honest.

Kio (185180932) wrote:One time I learned about an old lady who was one of my biggest fans ever. I had to inform her & her buds that I was aware but did not want to reciprocate the solicitation of communication from her or any others working for her. Ultimately it was what I did not want to have to say that set me free, and that was the truth. Those individuals never forgave me for not having any interest in them or their shenanigans but I did the right thing by being honest.

Hmm. Valid point.

So I finally spoke up to the person today. I told them my point and they looked in a different light. I said "Look we are both degreed in Early childhood education. I mean, we both have these children's interest at heart. Although I am not on the same level as you are, (regarding a particular child) you and I care deeply about the children whom we care for. I consider these children to be like my own, and it hurts me deeply when something is bothering them as it should you as her therapist. I understand your point of view but please understand, these kids are my heart and although I am the lead, it is not just my duty to tell my coworkers or students what I need them to do all the time, I also have to get to the bottom of what is going on, why a child may be feeling the way they do or matters concerning my class. I wasn't picked just to randomly do this job; I was picked because my boss knew I would be effective in managing my classroom. I understand your concern, I am too. But, as her teacher, it's my duty to communicate with you my concerns so that we can get to the bottom of the situation." I never saw her jaw drop like it did. Did she talk badly of me? Of course, I heard it, but I had to get it out. I had to speak my truth. I had to just let her know that I've had enough of her coming into my classroom and dictating to me how to run it. I ran it up to my boss because they've affected me with their tit for tat drama and believe me, Our center is drama free with the staff. We're tight nit and like it just like that. Truly, we don't gossip about each other or tear each other down, we're like a sorority of sisters. We truly are a family. We're tight. So my boss told me "Sometimes people see the joy and want to steal it, we don't know what they're going through, but some people are determined when a person is happy and has it all to tear it down". That's how I feel. Like they just want to tear what I built up. But, taking your advice felt so good. I just said it and left it at that. Karma will eventually come round, as her fakeness will be revealed to the correct people.

Angelic Rose (107404295) wrote:So I finally spoke up to the person today. I told them my point and they looked in a different light. I said "Look we are both degreed in Early childhood education. I mean, we both have these children's interest at heart. Although I am not on the same level as you are, (regarding a particular child) you and I care deeply about the children whom we care for. I consider these children to be like my own, and it hurts me deeply when something is bothering them as it should you as her therapist. I understand your point of view but please understand, these kids are my heart and although I am the lead, it is not just my duty to tell my coworkers or students what I need them to do all the time, I also have to get to the bottom of what is going on, why a child may be feeling the way they do or matters concerning my class. I wasn't picked just to randomly do this job; I was picked because my boss knew I would be effective in managing my classroom. I understand your concern, I am too. But, as her teacher, it's my duty to communicate with you my concerns so that we can get to the bottom of the situation." I never saw her jaw drop like it did. Did she talk badly of me? Of course, I heard it, but I had to get it out. I had to speak my truth. I had to just let her know that I've had enough of her coming into my classroom and dictating to me how to run it. I ran it up to my boss because they've affected me with their tit for tat drama and believe me, Our center is drama free with the staff. We're tight nit and like it just like that. Truly, we don't gossip about each other or tear each other down, we're like a sorority of sisters. We truly are a family. We're tight. So my boss told me "Sometimes people see the joy and want to steal it, we don't know what they're going through, but some people are determined when a person is happy and has it all to tear it down". That's how I feel. Like they just want to tear what I built up. But, taking your advice felt so good. I just said it and left it at that. Karma will eventually come round, as her fakeness will be revealed to the correct people.

Confronting a person who wants to influence how you do your job that is NOT your boss, is one of the real joys in life (sarcasm). Kudos to you for handling it professionally. It sounds like you know you are doing it right, and she just wants you to do it her way. Sometimes people like this are great sources for feedback - if we are actually messing up. But your story sounds like she is just trying to manipulate you.

My advice - none. You did it exactly right. You told her that class is yours, and to get her own if she wants to run one another way. You owe your allegiance to your boss - period. Your boss won't judge your performance based on what someone thinks you should do. They will judge you based on what YOU do. As long as your boss loves your work, that therapist can suck it. Good job........

Angelic Rose (107404295) wrote:So I finally spoke up to the person today. I told them my point and they looked in a different light. I said "Look we are both degreed in Early childhood education. I mean, we both have these children's interest at heart. Although I am not on the same level as you are, (regarding a particular child) you and I care deeply about the children whom we care for. I consider these children to be like my own, and it hurts me deeply when something is bothering them as it should you as her therapist. I understand your point of view but please understand, these kids are my heart and although I am the lead, it is not just my duty to tell my coworkers or students what I need them to do all the time, I also have to get to the bottom of what is going on, why a child may be feeling the way they do or matters concerning my class. I wasn't picked just to randomly do this job; I was picked because my boss knew I would be effective in managing my classroom. I understand your concern, I am too. But, as her teacher, it's my duty to communicate with you my concerns so that we can get to the bottom of the situation." I never saw her jaw drop like it did. Did she talk badly of me? Of course, I heard it, but I had to get it out. I had to speak my truth. I had to just let her know that I've had enough of her coming into my classroom and dictating to me how to run it. I ran it up to my boss because they've affected me with their tit for tat drama and believe me, Our center is drama free with the staff. We're tight nit and like it just like that. Truly, we don't gossip about each other or tear each other down, we're like a sorority of sisters. We truly are a family. We're tight. So my boss told me "Sometimes people see the joy and want to steal it, we don't know what they're going through, but some people are determined when a person is happy and has it all to tear it down". That's how I feel. Like they just want to tear what I built up. But, taking your advice felt so good. I just said it and left it at that. Karma will eventually come round, as her fakeness will be revealed to the correct people.