BadMoon (153955457) wrote:I know s*** happened, the things you don't want to remember, but I don't understand how your whole existence can be wiped out.

Thanx guys for your replies.

Stress will memory wipe your head better than shock
therapy

BadMoon (153955457) wrote:

Doodler (10729465) wrote:

BadMoon (153955457) wrote:Simply seeking understanding as to the why of things. I just don't understand. I don't think my Drs. Knows what to make of me either.

Have you tried hypnosis to access memories? We all have cloudy or selective memories of the past, but it is all stored in our subconscious. You can learn to do self-hypnosis, if you don't know a good hypnotherapist that you feel you can trust. There are good recordings you can get to help you.

My memories are sketchy at times and then very vivid at others. Since my life has had many changes and complete turnarounds in it, it often seems like I've lived several different lives.

My memories, the ones i do have are the ones I wish I did not have. To remember the bad parts of my life I don't need help with. To give someone access to those, I simply can not. Idk, I feel weirdly wired. To remember something, it had to make a hard impression on me, if that makes sense.The what I assume are gentle, carefree moments, those I don't have.

With hypnosis you can take away the trauma attached to the memories. It can really help in the healing process. If you don't feel comfortable with someone else, you can do it yourself. I'm not sure where you live, but you may be able to find classes nearby. They're usually pretty cheap.

This simple video helped me understand how memory works. Apparently, memory is not a single "block" which stores a particular event, instead, a single memory is the work of various brain cells connecting together simultaneously in a specific pattern forming what we call a memory.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqFtWwQCzFI

My earliest memories were of me in a highchair and me peeking out a screen door I was barely tall enough to reach.
Recently when my son passed, I couldn't recall my pin for my debit card. I went to the bank and changed it but 3 times at the store, when the cashier was talking to me or it was extra loud my hand would just automatically punch in that old pin. Of course it would lock it up and I'd make a trip to the bank and they'd say " What number did you use?" and I would say "I don't know". They literally looked at me like I was crazy but I didn't know. It took nearly 3 months for it to return to my brain but in the meantime my hand knew it. So strange even to me. The mind is a very mysterious thing.

Having a selective memory (like most women ) R.I.P Nick, I Know... Is not a bad thing. I don't think I'd like to remember everything or forget everything either. One of my relatives has Alzheimer and if he doesn't seem me for 10 days or so he won't recognize me the next time we meet, sometimes I wonder what it feels like to not have a memory at all but I doubt I'd like not having one, things eventually even themselves out, as most things do inside our brains.

Alicen Chains (155870363) wrote:My earliest memories were of me in a highchair and me peeking out a screen door I was barely tall enough to reach.
Recently when my son passed, I couldn't recall my pin for my debit card. I went to the bank and changed it but 3 times at the store, when the cashier was talking to me or it was extra loud my hand would just automatically punch in that old pin. Of course it would lock it up and I'd make a trip to the bank and they'd say " What number did you use?" and I would say "I don't know". They literally looked at me like I was crazy but I didn't know. It took nearly 3 months for it to return to my brain but in the meantime my hand knew it. So strange even to me. The mind is a very mysterious thing.

((((((Alicen))))))) Losing a child is the worst thing that could ever happen. My heart goes out to you.

When I left my first husband I remember my Grandfather and Uncle came and got me and packed up all my things. I have no memory of what led up to it, just that things were bad. I think erasing bad memories is a way to protect ourselves somehow.

Alicen Chains (155870363) wrote:My earliest memories were of me in a highchair and me peeking out a screen door I was barely tall enough to reach.
Recently when my son passed, I couldn't recall my pin for my debit card. I went to the bank and changed it but 3 times at the store, when the cashier was talking to me or it was extra loud my hand would just automatically punch in that old pin. Of course it would lock it up and I'd make a trip to the bank and they'd say " What number did you use?" and I would say "I don't know". They literally looked at me like I was crazy but I didn't know. It took nearly 3 months for it to return to my brain but in the meantime my hand knew it. So strange even to me. The mind is a very mysterious thing.

Hugs to you Alicen, you're a champ in my book.

I can remember up to 2 years old. But some memories are forever stuck with me and I hate it The most memories that haunt me in my sleep and late at night is from 5-16

I remember before age 5. First one is wondering why my aunt had a big belly and where her baby was, so I grabbed her dress & looked up it....and my parents laughingly yelped NO!!! I also remember pics on the couch with my younger brothers, Easter Egg hunts, looking way up at adults and wondering why they were so tall, my rideable horse on springs.........etc.

Strong emotions create chemical tracers that set much deeper in our brains. Unfortunately, negative emotions are often the ones that drive the deepest ruts in our minds. We "feel" them more intensely and thus the memories attached to them are the ones we struggle to forget. We've all heard the statement "You won't remember what they said, but you will remember how they made you feel". This is true because emotions are the trigger for creating lasting memories.

I project a very positive vibe about life because I choose it. But I have experienced things in my life that people should not see or experience. They have scarred me. Those are the memories my subconscious wants to draw from and they always seem to be at the top of the damn heap. To combat them I work very diligently to attach emotion to the positive things in my world. For example, a lot of people just make food because they need it to survive. But I have learned to take pleasure in the process of making food. I have embraced it as a necessity, but also as an art form. When I smoke a brisket, it is almost a religious experience for the 9 hours I am tied to that smoker. Accordingly, I now have a very solid set of memories around making food. Of course my screw ups top the pile because they are funny now, but I also have a ton of fun ones that seem to bubble up all the time. As time passes, the negative memories seem to be fading and these new ones are over writing my hard drive.

I don't want to forget the bad stuff. It taught me lessons. I molded me into the man I am now. To deny the positive and negative impact is to deny reality. I'll not live in a delusional state of denial. But that sh*t doesn't own me. I own it now.

If you had the choice would you want your memory wiped completely and start fresh or live the rest of your life remembering all newly experienced events?

Robyn VIP (8132649) wrote:

Alicen Chains (155870363) wrote:My earliest memories were of me in a highchair and me peeking out a screen door I was barely tall enough to reach.
Recently when my son passed, I couldn't recall my pin for my debit card. I went to the bank and changed it but 3 times at the store, when the cashier was talking to me or it was extra loud my hand would just automatically punch in that old pin. Of course it would lock it up and I'd make a trip to the bank and they'd say " What number did you use?" and I would say "I don't know". They literally looked at me like I was crazy but I didn't know. It took nearly 3 months for it to return to my brain but in the meantime my hand knew it. So strange even to me. The mind is a very mysterious thing.

((((((Alicen))))))) Losing a child is the worst thing that could ever happen. My heart goes out to you.

When I left my first husband I remember my Grandfather and Uncle came and got me and packed up all my things. I have no memory of what led up to it, just that things were bad. I think erasing bad memories is a way to protect ourselves somehow.

I agree. I think some things are better off forgotten. We bury them in places we really only visit by ourselves. (lyrics)
I'm so sorry someone treated you that way. I sometimes wonder if those people struggle with what happened to them and lost. HUGE hugs to you

Nick Blade (187030201) wrote:
Hugs to you Alicen, you're a champ in my book.

xo Nick, hope you're well

i agree Robyn VIP, while it seems only the bad is what i do remember, i'm almost positive there are bad i also don't.

@ Nick, lol, as i don't tend to remember thats a hard one, The good (whatever there may have been, on those areas of my life) i don't tend to recall. So say, 3 to 4 weeks from now, poof, as i've said, i pretty much live in the moment.

IF i could erase it all, yes, i probably would.